This year is all about nurturing the most important relationship I’ll ever have: the one with myself. For so long, I’ve wanted a friend like me.....someone who would show up, give selflessly, and love unconditionally. But what I realized is that I’ve been that friend for others, over-giving in the hopes that they’d see my worth and meet me halfway. I even have a tattoo on my wrist to symbolize my willingness to sacrifice for the people I love. But now? I’m learning to include myself in that equation. If I don't pour into myself how can I expect people to know how to treat me? How will I know when I am over giving if I don't give to myself?

I’ve spent years pouring into others, being there no matter what, and sacrificing my own needs for the sake of relationships. And while I don’t regret loving deeply, I’ve come to see that I deserve that same energy in return and most importantly, I deserve it from myself. It’s not just about monetary gifts or grand gestures. It’s about truly valuing myself, recognizing my worth, and showing up for me the way I’ve shown up for everyone else.

Something clicked for me recently. I realized that I can’t expect others to reciprocate what I’ve never given to myself. I’ve been holding myself to impossible standards, blaming myself for the lack of reciprocity in some friendships, and setting expectations that others never asked for. Now, I see that I’ve been the one constant in my life. I’ve been there through every step, every challenge, and every success. So why not honor that?

It’s not easy stepping into this new season of self-love. It’s hard to create a new life when some people only want to see the old version of you or when they remain stuck in their own patterns. I can’t continue to invest in friendships that don’t reciprocate my energy, time, or effort. I’ve come to understand that showing up for myself doesn’t mean cutting people off; it just means being intentional about the energy I allow into my life.

For me, it’s not about texting back immediately or keeping up with surface level exchanges. It’s about reciprocity, showing up for each other, and being surrounded by people who pour into me the way I pour into them. I’ve done my part, and I’m no longer overextending myself to fill one-sided gaps.

This season is about forgiving myself. I’m letting go of the guilt and over-accountability I’ve carried when it comes to relationships. I’ve done my best, and I’m learning to be okay with the fact that not everyone will match my energy. I’m no longer chasing or forcing connections. If people think of me, they’ll reach out. If they don’t, that’s okay too.

Last night, I took myself to the movies to watch One of Them Days with SZA and Keke Palmer. It felt so good to go alone, enjoy my own company, and realize how much I truly love who I am becoming. This version of me feels empowered, free, and aligned. I’m in my own lane, on my own path, and it’s a beautiful feeling.

2025 is my year to pour back into me....to give myself the love and loyalty I’ve so freely given to others. I’m my own best friend, and I’m finally okay with that.

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