Why I’m a Girl’s Girl (or Really, a Woman’s Woman)

A Girl’s Girl: Lessons from Both Sides

I say I’m a girl’s girl because I’ve been on both sides. I’ve been the woman who’s been talked about, laughed at, and kicked while I was down... I’ve also been the woman who projected her own pain onto others before fully understanding myself.

“I’ve lived those lessons from both sides of the fence.”

I’ve been the one with low self-love and shaky confidence, and I’ve been the one learning to rebuild from that.

When I say I’m a girl’s girl, it’s not just because I support women...it’s because I understand women. I understand the complexities, the pain, the growth, and ultimately, the beauty of loving and uplifting each other.

Authenticity and Alignment

Now that I have self-love, confidence, stability, and balance, I operate from my authentic self. And because of that, I can’t surround myself with people who don’t do the same.

“Birds of a feather truly flock together.”

We can all be different individuals, but the morals and principles have to stand the same. Real alignment matters more than nostalgia, appearances, or old patterns.

The Hard Lessons from Friends

Oh, my friends made me feel small, but now I understand that’s how they felt inside. My kindness was taken for weakness. My willingness to care, to give, to love ... it was used against me.

It’s wild because on my last day of high school, my advisory teacher looked at me and said,

“Shelby, your biggest gift is going to be your downfall.”

Back then, I didn’t fully understand what she meant.I had so much love to give, but none for myself. So I went looking for it everywhere in... friendships, relationships, anywhere I thought I could feel seen.

But if I’m being honest, that was manipulation in its own way, because deep down, I knew they weren’t going to show up how I did. Yet, I still tried to pour into them, hoping my love would make them change their mind.

I wasted a lot of time in friendships with people who wanted to see me happy, just not happier than them.And that’s a hard pill to swallow ... realizing that some people love you only to the point that it doesn’t outshine their own comfort.

I’ve been the one singled out in friend groups, the one left out when conflicts arose, the one who tried to reach out and got silence in return. I’ve had friends block me without warning. I’ve had women backhandedly put me down, sometimes on the internet, while smiling in my face. I’ve felt the weight of judgment, projection, and gossip.

And I’ve been the one on the other side too..acting out of pain before understanding myself. I’m not perfect. But these experiences taught me lessons I wouldn’t trade for anything: about boundaries, self-awareness, and trust.

“Separation brings elevation.”

Since December 22, 2024, I’ve gone inward...deeply inward. I haven’t been chasing people; I’ve been in isolation mode: me and God. It gave me space to see who I am, who I want around me, and what real alignment looks like.

True Friends Are Equally Yoked

For me, true friendship isn’t measured by what someone does for me, it’s about being equally yoked. It’s about understanding each other, finding balance, and walking in alignment. Life missions may differ, but the wavelength...the energy, values, and principles...must match.

I’ve been the one who showed up for everyone, pouring my heart, offering support, trying to save people when they struggled. And I’ve also been the one left wondering...

“Where’s the support for me?”

Sometimes, asking for help felt like asking too much.

But I also recognize my part. In my teens and early twenties, I had a big heart, I was empathetic, and I cared deeply, but I also unconsciously sought to be saved. I wanted to save others, yes, but I also wanted someone to save me. That’s accountability: seeing where I may have overextended, and owning it without framing myself as a victim.

At the same time, people showed me who they were through their choices. If they didn’t step up, it wasn’t just about me, it was about the role they chose to play. Their actions told me everything I needed to know about them.

True connection comes from alignment, mutual understanding, and shared values, not obligation or expectation.

As a special-needs mom, this alignment is even more critical. I need people who accept my son, who are open-minded, and who can respect my passion and perspective. My love, my care for humanity, my drive is big, and they can be misunderstood by those who don’t get it.

That’s why I choose to close myself off to closed-minded, small-minded energy. True friends see the heart, recognize authenticity, and ride the same wavelength.

Being a Woman’s Woman

That’s what being a girl’s girl (a woman’s woman) is really about. It’s about understanding, accountability, growth, and support. It’s about lifting each other up, standing in your power, and being authentic every step of the way.

“Sisterhood isn’t just a word. It’s a choice.” Just like love is an action.

I’ve walked through pain, betrayal, and projection. I’ve experienced friendships that hurt, and friendships that healed. I’ve learned that the lessons come from living fully, forgiving honestly, and holding space for growth...

both for myself and others.

Why I Created The Baby Mama Club

And that’s another reason I created The Baby Mama Club. It’s not just a space, it’s a fellowship and movement. A place for women finding their way, learning to love themselves, and lifting each other up along the way.

“Because sisterhood isn’t just a word. It’s a choice. And it’s one I intend to live every day.”

I’ve been on both sides of friendship and judgment, and those experiences shaped this community. Here, women aren’t judged for their past, their relationships, or their circumstances. Here, women are celebrated, supported, and empowered. That’s the heart of sisterhood...and the heart of everything I do.